ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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