Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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