even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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