While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
