we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
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I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
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he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.