sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize