im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
