you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
As shirtless as possible
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
