This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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