Just fell off a train. Bad.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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