; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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