would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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