THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
