Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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