he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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