I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
