Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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