If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
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