fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize