Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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