ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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