she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
organizing the empties. That sober.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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