you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
