I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize