i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm passing your future prison.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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