nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
