Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize