Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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