Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
