she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I need a beard to bite.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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