I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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