after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
