Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
