someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize