I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
