His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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