i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
