i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
