Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
