if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
