they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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