After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
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