so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
