everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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