how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
