Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
