i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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