So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
