i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
it hurts more in the daytime
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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