i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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