He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
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Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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