So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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