Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
