He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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