I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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