Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
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Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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