I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
is it fun? or sober?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
