Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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