i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
