my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
