I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
