lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
When did angry sex become our thing?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in