you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?