grandma shit on top of the toilet
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.