im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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