i permit you to call me
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
