And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
