Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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