THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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