we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
this just has baby written all over it
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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