Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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