I must be too annoying 4 u.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
