can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
It's not a walk of shame if you run
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
